Preparing for Life on the Road

Posted on February 22, 2015 by tsandhage


I’ve been looking at RVs since October 2014. Truthfully, I thought this would be easy and it probably would have been if I’d just bought the first thing I liked. However, I didn’t have immediate financing so that didn’t happen. Of course, upon reflection, I could have purchased some items I first encountered but the process of how to do that didn’t occur to me until a week ago. Oh well.
If I’d bought what I first found, it would have been a 5th wheel (5er) and about 36 – 38 foot long. I tell you they were luxury models and nicer than my house. Anyway, I didn’t get those so I had time for people to tell me I needed to get a Travel Trailer (TT) so there wouldn’t be so many steps. Also, with a Travel Trailer, I can use the back of my pickup for hauling “stuff;” 5ers and TTs don’t have a lot of storage underneath them. If I want storage, I have to either buy a TT or get a MotorHome (MH) which has lots of under coach storage, often called basements.
I’ve learned 5ers and MHs are made for full-timing, which means living in them all year long. However, TTs have, mostly, not been made for full-timing as most of them lack storage and carrying capacity. The TTs that are for full-timing are far out of my price range. The length of TTs, in conjunction with the length of my truck, is a little scary to me. My truck length is 25 feet. I found a TT that was 35 feet long but the total length of 60 feet had me apprehensive. So, I began looking for a shorter length TT which had the storage for 2 people to live in full-time. This year, Forest River has made one I like that is 30 foot long. They also have built 2 more that are 32 feet long. A friend allowed me to pull his 31 foot TT and it was super easy for me to pull so I’m going to try pulling a 35 foot TT and see how it feels. I’m currently getting the appropriate hitch installed on my truck so I can safely pull the 35 foot model. If I feel comfortable, my options are opened up so I can get a TT with a King size bed.
Why am I looking for a RV to go full-timing? I want to get back to Nature. I have lived close to town for far too many years. I’ve had a lot of health issues and I feel getting back to Nature will help restore my inner balance. Maybe I’m wrong but the peace I feel when I get out in Nature and away from all the distractions of civilization leads me to believe I need to restore myself through Nature. I consider this venture like a solitary quest. I’m not just looking to spend time in Nature but also to find my passions, take pictures, do some writing, do lots of walking, find how/what I want to eat. and, basically, just find out how I will live my life when I am alone to figure out what makes me happy. I’ve never been in that situation so this will be a completely new experience.
When I am among people, I am constantly taking care of others. I noticed this today when I was driving on snowy back roads. I was driving for some time before I realized I was clearing paths for fellow travelers. I was using my 4 wheel drive truck to make tracks in the snow so people would have 2 lanes of tracks in case they had to pass someone. One side of the road had been pretty well traveled but the other side was fresh snow that would make a regular size car struggle. I knew my tracks would make it easier for a regular size car to be in my lane instead of in the lane for oncoming traffic which was fairly clear. As I was driving, I also realized, in the past, I’ve driven down the center of snowy roads so there will be at least one tire track for fellow travelers to use. Doing this does nothing to benefit me. It’s just something I do because I know it will make others lives easier even if they don’t realize it. I mentioned my realizations, to my husband, and he commented that it isn’t so much about taking care of others but more about being compassionate. He felt I was seeing a potential need and filling it without any thought of personal benefit and that is a sign of compassion for others. Before today, I had never given much thought to my behavior but noticing my behavior has given me an opportunity to review my life through a different lens which allows me to have more compassion for myself. I’ve always helped others without thinking about myself which is why I’m always surprised when people act like they have to give me something for any kindness I show them. I’ve always been perplexed by the need to do something for me in return because I’ve done something for them. My suggestion has always been to do something nice for someone else and pay it forward.
I realize there will be people around when I am out full-timing. Overall, I believe I will be alone a lot more than I am currently; at least that is my perception. I believe I will be able to take walks, eat, sleep, do tasks alone and at my own pace. I’m sure I will run into other people and have many experiences but I doubt I will have people on my doorstep very often or people who have things they want me to do. I know I will be without animals who need my attention. I’m looking forward to finding out how I want to live my life.

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Discoveries

Posted on August 21, 2014 by tsandhage


I happened upon a blog site which, while I was reading it, gave me some insight into my energy levels. I have said, and I believe, my challenges are more Spiritual than anything else. To be more specific, I feel all dis-ease is Spiritual in nature. The blog site is Conquering Fear Spiritually. Be sure to read the 2 “click here” parts of the page.

So, Katie talks about the moment in her life when she gave away her power, her regrets around that moment, and how it has determined her life since. While I’ve always been aware of the pivotal moments in my life and known there is one specific moment I wish to get back, I never really thought about it as a defining moment which is keeping me stuck in my current situation. I guess I had never really claimed it. Yes, I’ve talked about it and mourned it but I have allowed it to continue to define my life without even knowing I was doing so.

When I broached this subject, with Jeff, even before I said what I thought the pivotal moment was, Jeff said it for me. I guess it was obvious to everyone but me. Oh well. Anyway, I have already started making the changes I’ve wanted to make all these years but have sabotaged myself into never even trying. Last night was the first time I’ve begun flexibility and strengthening moves since that moment so many years ago when I agreed to quit exercising. I now feel very motivated to start the courses for which I’ve signed up to improve my education towards starting my online business. And, I wanted to get online today to create new posts.

For several weeks, I’ve felt scattered and wanted to escape from my life. I have felt trapped. I was shocked when I realized I had given up ever getting to be who I wanted to be or do anything I wanted to do. I had received so many disappointments in life, lost so many animals with whom I was close, had my life directed so strongly that the loss of being able to simply exercise was the end. I gave up fighting, gave up trying to have anything I wanted. I’d been well taught that to care was to open myself to pain. I’m ready to release those times, as I remember them, in my past which were difficult for me. I’m ready to take over my future and go for my goals.

I can be hurt and upset about the past but I know that brings only more hurt and upset. It serves no purpose and limits my future possibilities. When I was growing up, people around me did the best they knew to do. Everyone had my best interests at heart. People around me still have my best interests at heart, they always do. I doubt anyone really tries to hurt those around them. People hurt others because they, themselves, are hurting and because it is all they know to do. It is rarely intentional.

Is it hard to let go of the past? Not really but it is more challenging for some than others. Why? To release the past requires we forgive ourselves for holding onto the pain & forgive others for failing to do better than they were able, We each hurt others without intending to do so. If we are lucky, those people will forgive us so they can move forward in their lives and release the pain we have caused them. Pain only hurts the person feeling the pain, never the person with whom we are angry.

I’m grateful for my history. I have no need to bring it into my future. I hope you, too, will see the futility of holding onto past experiences. Let them go! Forgive yourself for holding onto the past. Forgive everyone for not ever being able to give you what you desire. We can only give to ourselves what we need. Step into your future and claim your abilities. Take responsibility for yourself.

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Newfoundland Trip

Posted on August 15, 2014 by tsandhage


Jeff & I went to Newfoundland for a couple weeks, a few weeks ago. I would highly recommend the trip to anyone who loves nature and friendly people. We stayed at a little B&B on the Atlantic coast where we watched whales eat and play on a daily basis. The name of the B&B is the WhaleWatcher B&B. We had a fabulous time!
As you know, I have some physical challenges in my life. On this trip I learned one of them is temperature and humidity. I live in Indiana which is normally very warm and humid during the summer. The people who can relate most easily are those who live in Florida. When I was looking for a place to vacation, my highest priority was the temperature had to be under 80 degrees. Newfoundland was listed as being no higher than 77 degrees. When I was looking for vacation places, I hadn’t realized how much of a role humidity plays in my feeling well.
I freely admit Newfoundland gets above 77 degrees. The hottest temperature, during our stay was 83 degrees and the lowest was 66 degrees. This was during the month of July. There were 2 days where I had to wear a scarf over my shoulders for the entire day because I was cool. Considering I’ve never had to wear a cover of any kind during the summer, this was a completely new experience which I enjoyed immensely.
When we arrived it was pretty late so we stayed in a hotel close to the St. John’s Airport. The next day was very windy and was cool so we looked for light jackets; it had not occurred to me I might need a jacket. We found some at a local sightseeing spot – Signal Hill. The first day was spent sightseeing at Signal Hill and Spears Point (a lighthouse). I, of course, overdid things and found a new symptom; blood in my urine. This did scare me a bit because it happened so quickly and was so pronounced. I knew it was stress on my body so I decided to keep calm and see if it would go away the next day – it did. We went to our B&B and I went to bed.
We rested for a couple of days before doing drives around the Avalon peninsula. on two separate days. Those days were lovely and the drives were wonderful! We visited St. Mary’s bird sanctuary. It is fogged in about 200 days per year but houses over 60 different species of birds as they lay eggs & then raise & care for their young.

The things I noticed most about Newfoundland were the short trees. The trees are mostly pine and only get about 40′ tall. I would guess it is because the island is rock with 1 – 2′ of peat on top. The grasses, even in the most remote places, never get above my knees. The rivers look like root beer because the peat gives them a deep brown color and the rushing water creates cream colored froth where it collides with rocks and in waterfalls. The electric poles are often held in place by square containers filled with large rocks because there isn’t enough depth to dig a hole for the pole.
I didn’t see a lot of row cropping. I saw a couple places with dairy farms and about the same for horse owners. There is so much land that is free of housing but I don’t know if people are allowed to ride upon it. There are large areas of wilderness but, again, I don’t know if riding is allowed. Being a horseback rider, I always wonder about the availability of riding areas.
Homes are along the coast, mostly. There are some inland but usually only along well traveled roads. There are bogs and lakes everywhere you look. Commercialism is catching up to Newfoundland and I see it being built up around the interior lakes and being sold as condominiums to city dwellers and tourists.
Prices are about double what they are in the US for food but housing is very reasonable. Seafood is the mainstay of the locals but grocery stores carry a wide variety of staples. I didn’t realize I love seafood until I ate the seafood in Newfoundland. I learned my palate is very discerning and can taste the fishy fragrance of seafood that is only about 12 hours old. So, it is unlikely I will find seafood in my area which is up to my palate’s demands.
The humidity and temperature were contributing factors to my ability to enjoy Newfoundland. I don’t know what the humidity was but I would guess 40 – 45%. Our B&B had no AC and I had no problems. I was able to sleep with the windows open every night and only sweated on one day when I was in the sun, the breeze was not blowing, and I was in town where the heat was concentrated. So, I thank Newfoundland for showing me I can do over 12 hours in a day without needing a nap or sweating while also being fairly active and without getting ill.
All of this information has brought me to a new place in my life. Since being home, I have been housebound. In order to stay feeling well, I stay inside in AC with a fan blowing on me because the AC isn’t enough to keep me cool. Even though the temperature, this year, is very pleasant, I am unable to do anything outside without sweating and wearing out. The humidity levels are even reasonable, about 60% +, but that is too high for me to even walk outside without sweating and needing an extended nap afterwards. Now, I am trying to figure out how to make changes in my life which will allow me to live in cooler climes and be able to start having a life again. I am hopeful, if I figure this out, it will help me be able to get beyond what has happened to my body, get it back to a place where I have more freedom, and allow me to live more fully in any climate.

I am so grateful I was able to visit Newfoundland. I learned a lot about myself. I got to see whales & puffins on a daily basis, enjoy the outdoors, and be more active than I’ve been in years. Our B&B not only had whales out the back door on a daily basis, there were also a couple islands within sight – one had a puffin colony and one had bald eagles. We were lucky enough to see several icebergs while out running around and puffins within about 30′ of us at Elliston, near Bona Vista. I’m grateful for what I learned about myself on this trip and how I can improve my life. I only have to figure out how to make the changes I need.
I’ve learned I really like seeing new places and experiencing new environments. I have yet to visit a place I have not enjoyed or wished to return. The US has wonderful places to visit as well. With the variety of altitudes, I believe I can find places which suit me any time of year. My dream for myself is solidifying. May you find your dreams and have the experiences you desire.

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My Beliefs. Your Beliefs.

Posted on July 26, 2014 by tsandhage


I’ve always wanted to feel like my parents supported me unconditionally. I think that is a common theme among children. And, though I have tried for many, many years to conform to the accepted norms, I have finally accepted I will never be able to happily conform. Yes, I can conform if I am willing to be unhappy, unhealthy, and live a life which does not suit me. I am unwilling to live that life anymore. I realize this means I must be willing to accept all the consequences of my decision. I am willing.
I know my parents will not disown me so I am one of the lucky people; I know I won’t lose them. Some people have to face life without any of their family in order to live their lives. Of course, some people have to leave their families in order to have a life to live. I’m definitely lucky I’ve never been truly alone in the world and I haven’t ever really had to struggle. I’ve always had a roof over my head and food to eat. I admire people who have had a really tough life and come through it. Most I’ve met feel their scars deeply though they may not show those scars. Fortunately, I’ve been able to hear some of their stories and empathize with them. I see their courage and perseverance. I admire them. I’ve also compared myself to them. I’ve felt weak and afraid because I’ve not stepped into my life and the choices I’ve known I needed to make sooner. I’ve paid my own price for trying to conform. I guess we all have our path and struggles.
I am trying to look at each of my beliefs to see which ones work for me and discard those which do not work. This has brought me to some interesting crossroads. For instance, I no longer feel badly about loss. I use to suffer a lot around loss and I’ve experienced a lot of loss in my life. I’ve coped by shutting off my emotions and pretending I don’t care. It may seem I’m still doing that however, I’ve come to understand there is no loss. When souls die they simply go back to their lives which aren’t on Earth. They don’t die. They drop the shell of their bodies and return to their true selves. I know that place is a wonderful, loving place where everything makes sense and all questions are answered. Since I’ve come to this understanding, I can no longer feel sad about death. I am too busy being happy for the soul. I know any sadness is, for me, a selfishness on my part because I miss their physical presence. Yet I also realize the soul is more available to me, now they are dead, than they could have ever been in life. This realization and lack of loss makes funerals and all things associated with funerals no longer necessary for me. I don’t mean that disrespectfully. For me, I think a celebration is more in order than grieving.
I’m not judging anyone else’s belief about death. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Some accept my viewpoint, even if they don’t understand it, and some judge. For the most part, I am okay with the judgments. However, I notice I am reactive about my parents questioning my beliefs. Upon examination, I realize I want them to just accept me without question and that is unreasonable on my part. I have to honor the fact they do not know my current belief system nor do they understand it. Like anyone else I encounter, I must be willing to explain my belief system and accept their confusion. Confusion is not necessarily disapproval. People need an opportunity to process my beliefs and allow them to soak in before they can decide if they disapprove, accept, or come to some middle ground.
I’m excited to step into a life where sadness is fleeting. I love that laughter will become the norm rather than the exception. I’m thrilled to meet situations where I experience reactions so I can look closely at the beliefs which caused the reaction and let go of the belief. I no longer wish to own any belief which causes me to feel badly or react in a way which feels constricting. I want to feel empathy, laughter, joy, openness, and love. I believe changing my beliefs is how I get where I want to live.

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My Tribe

Posted on July 16, 2014 by tsandhage


For some time I have been feeling like withdrawing from the world. I have had the desire to remove all responsibility from my life and go where I can spend time doing whatever I want whenever I want and answer to no one. My only responsibilities would be to eat, sleep, and do whatever strikes my fancy at any given moment. No, I am not depressed. I say that because people seem to go there any time I express a desire to be anything other than completely sociable. I’m an Introvert who appears to be an Extrovert. Even I use to think I was an Extrovert except that I always knew I could live a hermit lifestyle and be perfectly happy. The lack of realization happened because I was so outer focused instead of inner focused; I didn’t really know anything about myself even though I lived with myself 24/7.
Now, I realize everything needs to be inner focused so I can understand myself as completely as possible. Not understanding myself is why I have been trying to figure out why I have wanted to disengage from all responsibilities. Regardless, I think I’ve realized what is happening. All of the recent changes I’ve been experiencing started late last Fall. Soon afterwards, I began feeling discontent and a need to get away from everything. Today, I realized I am in the middle of a transition. Yes, I am going through a lot of changes but I am also transitioning to feeling a need to surround myself with a new tribe. My new tribe is made up of people who are also questioning their beliefs and willing to walk through their reactions to come to a place of love. Slowly, I am building my new tribe and while some of my old tribe will be coming along with me it probably will not be the majority. I believe the feeling of needing to get away was my way of releasing the desire for my all of my old tribe to come along with me. As I said in an older post, I have to be willing to let people be where they are and allow them to join me at their own pace and in their own time.
Since I’ve realized what is happening, I am much lighter and feel more energized. There are many writings which talk about surrounding ourselves with people who will stretch us. I want to stretch, be challenged by new ideas, and be presented with ways of thinking which allow me to grow into a healthier, more powerful version of myself. When I use the word power, I am not talking about power over other people. I do not want to be over anyone. I am equal to everyone; no one  is better or worse than myself. We are all equal, wonderful, filled with love, and powerful. My power is the power to be responsible for my life and everything which I draw to myself. I’m excited because I feel like I am stepping into a new arena of my life.

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Enlightenment

Posted on July 9, 2014 by tsandhage


Yesterday, I read a really nice article on Enlightenment (http://www.collective-evolution.com/2014/03/03/5-myths-about-enlightenment/). This article followed the same thoughts as “A Course In Miracles” so it wasn’t new information but it never hurts to be reminded of my goal from someone else’s perspective. As this article, and “A Course In Miracles,” states, Enlightenment is not a difficult goal. The challenge lies in removing all the things we’ve been taught that endorse the Ego. If we are able to Miraculously let go of all our learning, we will achieve immediate Enlightenment. This achievement is difficult for most of us. Lord knows I’m still working on it.
I appreciated reading this article because it reminded me how simple it is to become Enlightened. All I really have to do is let go of all judgment about everything. Letting go of all judgment sounds really easy; just don’t judge. And, it is really easy. However, my Ego has an investment in maintaining its importance in my life; even though it was created by me. My Ego has kept me alive and able to function in this world. Without my Ego, who am I? Will life be too different or too weird for me to handle letting my Ego go? To be truly Enlightened, I cannot keep my Ego’s view of the world and have Enlightenment. The two are opposites and cancel each other out. I choose Enlightenment so I must police, closely, any time my Ego pops up.
Policing my Ego requires awareness and diligence. And, the Universe seems to provide lots of opportunities for my learning any time I decide to let go of some aspect of my Ego. I’m getting better, though. I realized I was being tested this morning and I started to laugh. Laughter, I have found, is the quickest way for me to acknowledge, appreciate, and silence my Ego. I acknowledge its presence, I appreciate the role it has played in my life over the years, and it silences because of my laughter at its silliness. Plus, I get to feel good while laughing; laughter really is good for the soul.
There are many roads I can take to Enlightenment but I suspect letting go of all judgment is the quickest. If I let go of all judgment, I am unable to judge myself or others. What is left but love for myself and others? Letting go of all judgment means I no longer judge any situation or what happens in my life or around my life; I’m neutral on all subjects. This, of course, leads me back to the calmness I’ve talked about in other posts. It also leads me to laughter when I observe my Ego popping in to visit. It leads me to question everything:  my assumptions I’ve been taught, how I’ve been taught to feel about life and what happens to or around me, my need for stuff, comfort, security. Hopefully, questioning everything will help me be able to help others begin to question everything and find their way to Enlightenment as well.

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Adrenal Fatigue

Posted on July 2, 2014 by tsandhage


I didn’t know there was such a thing as adrenal fatigue. I happened to listen to a video Mastin Kipp created, when he was promoting his new class, where he was talking to a man about cleansing. The man, I don’t remember his name, talked about how people need different cleanses depending upon their health at any given moment in time. This caught my attention because I have never been able to do a cleanse. Cleanses make me so sick! When the guy talked about adrenal fatigue and how it can affect a person trying to do a cleanse, it caught my attention. So, I looked into adrenal fatigue and read up on it.
After my reading, I have come to a thought process which wonders if many autoimmune dis-eases, Fibromyalgia, and Chronic Fatigue are started because of adrenal fatigue. Our society is so caught up in living a stressed lifestyle. It has become an epidemic and is celebrated by people. People get pats on the back for not getting enough sleep, not having time to eat, working over 40 hours per week, running their kids to all sorts of events, and being so busy they eat in their car, don’t see spouses, etc. This lifestyle is heralded as being a go-getter or what must be done to get ahead. It has become a status symbol in our society to be stressed. I know because I was rewarded for working long hours, not eating well, and not having time to myself. I’ve felt chastised for not working hard enough if I wasn’t the first one to leave the house in the morning and the last one to crawl in bed at night. Of course, living a lifestyle of stress is beyond stupid. I was trying to please everyone but myself. It not only stressed me but left me angry and unhappy with myself and pretty much everyone around me. Eventually, because I wouldn’t stop mistreating myself, my body brought me to a complete halt. Then I began the long process of recovery while really having no idea what was wrong with me. Eventually, as you know, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and Lyme Disease. I always say “diagnosed” because I refuse to own a dis-ease. I know I can only have a dis-ease if I claim it and, since I wish to be free of dis-ease, I refuse to claim any of them because I believe I can return to health. Claiming a dis-ease usually means someone has resigned themselves to a life with that dis-ease and at least some of the symptoms of that dis-ease. I understand many people have debilitating things in their lives. I also understand dis-ease may have caused symptoms which will require considerable time to overcome or may never be overcome in this lifetime.
On the other hand, I’ve read too many books on Near Death Experiences & “A Course In Miracles” so I believe we have the ability to heal ourselves of any dis-ease. We just have to figure out how to make it happen. That leads us to the hard part of our lives because we tend to hold onto our belief systems. What will we have if we let them go? Who will we be? What happens if we let them go and something bad happens? And so many more fear-based thoughts.
If we let go of our belief systems, we can find so much freedom which, for me, means happiness, giddy joy, laughter for no reason, an overwhelming feeling of love, empathy for others without losing myself in their problems, and an ability to heal myself over time. For instance, I no longer have allergies. I released them back in 2000. This meant I didn’t have a single cold, flu, or sinus infection from 2000 – 2007. In 2007, I became afraid and I started getting sinus infections again. In 2010, I got tired of being sick with a sinus infection every time I opened my eyes and decided to release whatever fear causes the sinus infection. I have not had a single sinus infection, cold, or flu since. I like being free of those illnesses.
Another instance, is I rarely get burnt. After I was paralyzed, I couldn’t feel heat so I could touch a burner and it would take about 7 seconds before I would feel a slight tingle. I realized the tingle meant the item I was touching was too hot so I would quit touching it. I was never burnt. When my sensitivity to heat returned, I knew I didn’t need to burn just because I touched something hot. So, when I touch something that would burn me, I allow myself to let go of the burn. I wish I could explain that better but, even if I get a little burnt, the burn will disappear within seconds of me setting my intention on letting it go. I heal faster than I use to. I no longer feel an attachment to being hurt and that seems to allow me to heal faster than I normal.
All of these occurrences seem to be attached to my belief system. Do I believe what I’ve been taught for years as being true or do I believe in my innate ability to heal myself and do so? I’m choosing to heal myself. The more I do it, the more I develop my belief in my ability to heal larger and larger challenges.
I believe there will come a time when a doctor’s job will be more like a counselor to help people find where they a harming themselves with thoughts. I believe there will come a time when surgery will no longer be necessary, dis-ease will be a rarity, and people will realize their connection to each other and how they can work together to heal themselves and the world around them. Cue “Imagine” by John Lennon here. As the song says, “I know I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one.”

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Visiting Mom

Posted on June 25, 2014 by tsandhage


I visited my Mom for 4 days a week or so ago. This is the first time I’ve ever spent time alone with my Mom. Overall, we had a pretty decent time. I learned a lot about myself and my Mom during my visit. The biggest thing I learned about myself is I have a strong tendency to want happiness for others more than they want it for themselves. While this may be honorable, it is not a trait I wish to continue.
I want to develop my observational skills. I tend to listen to what people are saying and ignore their actions. I may know actions speak louder than words but I tend to ignore the actions especially when the words are what I want to hear. So, I really need to do better at letting my focus be on individuals and what they are really saying. This means I must focus on both the words and actions. If they match, that makes my job of listening really easy. If the words and actions do not match, I need to know that actions always speak louder than words and listen only to the actions.
I am finding so much happiness in my life. I am releasing so many of my old judgments and beliefs and I know this is the reason I find myself almost giddy for no particular reason. I want to share that joy with others and help others find this joy for themselves. Every day my belief that I can change my health by releasing old beliefs and judgments increases. In February, I was wiped out if the temperature reached 88 degrees in a dry environment. Now, I can tolerate 90 degrees with high humidity though I don’t stay out in it too long. A couple days ago, I was outside in 80+ degrees and 75% humidity and I noticed I felt like my body was free, light, and able to do so much. I felt like I had the body of a person in their teens to mid-20’s; I’m 56. I was joyous because I feel this confirms how we are each able to find our way back to health.
I use to believe we all aged and got less able as we got older. Then I learned our cells are renewed at least every 2 years. Later I read Louise L. Hay who believes all dis-ease is caused by our thoughts. I cannot continue to believe aging and lessened ability are a requirement. How can we get completely new cells every 2 years and have those cells be worse than the cells they are replacing. This can only happen if we force them to be worse by our belief system. Our thoughts influence so much of our lives. Why not believe in good, love, and wonderful things. Yes, there are a lot of things that happen that are not wonderful. Why let that become our belief system? Why not believe in the wonder of our lives and abilities and let the less than wonderful things that happen be changed by a wonderful belief system? I meet so many people who feel the fear-based system is all powerful. Love always conquers fear so, just like our cells are replaced every 2 years, I believe the fear-based system will be changed through love and loving thoughts.
Visiting my Mom challenged my new belief system. I stayed in a love-based belief and found, even though fear continued to be present and desired, fear could not find a foothold within me. The inability for fear to find a foothold was new for me and her. It also started to bring about some changes in how she interacted with me. In time, those changes will grow and, possibly, find a foothold in the fear-based world. Of course, the other option is to avoid me. I am finally willing to let fear-based people live their lives and quit trying to convince them to be love-based. There are too many people who want to be love-based. Love-based people of the world unite because, if enough of us unite, the light of love will shine in the darkest corners of this Earth and no fear will be able to withstand the brightness of the loving light; I sound like a preacher.

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Out of Options

Posted on June 2, 2014 by tsandhage


In my last post, I mentioned I had 2 options in life but I only wrote about 1 of the options. When my husband read the post, he mentioned it to me. I don’t believe in coincidences and I believe I didn’t mention a second option because, for me, there is no second option anymore. Of course, the second option is to continue on as we’ve always done. I’ve hit bottom, so to speak, and I am no longer willing to carry on as before because I like having energy and feeling well. I like being excited and joyful about life. I find most people like to have energy, feel well, and be excited and joyful about life.
I’m in the process of developing a website. I know what I want my site to cover and I have experience in what I desire to accomplish. I want a site where people can go to learn how to love themselves by releasing judgment. I could list a whole lot of negative behaviors but the vast majority boil down to judgment. I believe we all know how to love ourselves so my job will be to help people discover what they already know. I feel we are born knowing a lot more than we are given credit. Just because we can’t talk doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to say. It’s the same with animals. They are not stupid. Just because most of them don’t talk in the language we learned, they all talk and they are very opinionated if someone listens. However, they, like with children, often learn no one is listening so they quit talking or trying to get anyone to notice what they need. This changes, like with children, instantly as soon as someone talks to them and lets them know they will be heard. Also, on my website, I plan to teach people how to care for themselves. I don’t mean health & diet. I mean how to disconnect, energetically, from people who are dragging them down, how to quit giving parts of themselves away, and how to tap into their inner ability to heal themselves. Of course, all of this requires people to be willing to take complete responsibility for themselves.
Taking responsibility for oneself can be challenging. Our society reinforces that everything is happening “to” you. Other people and situations are causing you unhappiness:  you are not thin enough, you don’t have enough money, people at work give you too little respect or too much responsibility, you must answer your phone every time it makes a noise, things will make you happy, etc. Our society says to always look for what will make you happy in the external world. However, the truth is the only way we can ever be happy is to step forward and into our own lives, examine the hard truths about ourselves, be vulnerable and let other people know our challenges, be willing to open up, let the world know who we are or discover (for ourselves) who we really are and share it with the world.
I know you’ve probably heard many times how we each have, within us, something valuable to share. And, I know many people don’t feel they have anything valuable within them. Today, I read a blog by Andrea Tung where she said, “Your Life Path is the path to wealth and success. When you commit to serving your life purpose, you will unlock all the wealth and success you’re meant to have. The universe will open up to you, and you will be connected to the divine network. Otherwise, your life purpose will become your life lesson and what you struggle with for your whole life.” Here is the link to the entire article:

http://us2.campaign-archive2.com/?u=af5d7bf07a01716e1356616e2&id=84dab555d1
The last sentence is the one that hit me so strongly. I knew, intellectually, that every time we react to something around us, we are meant to learn something about ourselves and resolve our issue. But, for some reason, it had never occurred to me how not resolving those issues would lead to a life of struggle. It’s so clear now. And, this simple recognition of something I always “knew” into something which is emotionally clear to me is why each of us has something valuable within. Andrea was able to articulate a point in a way which touched me when all others who have made this same point have failed to connect with me on an emotional level. We have to understand things emotionally before they become part of us.
So, the key to having energy, feeling well, and being excited and joyful about life, is to be willing to step into your life and begin challenging yourself to walk through the judgment, resentment, frustration,  all forms of judgment and do the work to the point where you no longer react. While my site is not up yet, I am willing to help people (theresesandhage@pobox.com) begin to walk this journey. Remember, I am here to help you help yourself.

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I Believe

Posted on May 8, 2014 by tsandhage


I have come to believe that every difficulty, challenge, trauma, illness, etc which enters our life is an opportunity to learn about ourselves. Our reactions tell us where we still need learning. Every reaction is about us, never about what is happening. If we can learn to view our reactions as places where we can give ourselves Love, pay attention to what is happening within us, and forgive ourselves for not remembering how to be curious and in the Present Moment, we can unlearn all the training society has instilled in us. I believe the only reason we react to situations is because of the societal training we’ve learned. If we hadn’t learned what people are supposed to do and how things are supposed to happen, we would approach every situation with curiosity and a sense of wonder; the same as small children.
Without curiosity, I let my life become about all the things everyone else told me I was supposed to do. There was no joy in my life because I was so busy trying to live up to the expectations. The first thing I noticed, after several years, was a feeling of fatigue. It wasn’t bad and I could still do everything I demanded my body do but I just felt like I couldn’t get enough rest. After several more years of me pushing through my days to fulfill my roles, I started having more symptoms and stronger fatigue. I could still get through my day but, if left to sleep as much as I needed, I would sleep like a dead person and only be up for a few hours. No, I wasn’t depressed because I wanted to do lots of things and I was excited about doing lots of things. I simply didn’t have the ability to do what I desired to do. My memory was challenging, my eyes were doing funky things, my body began having odd sensations or lack of sensations and, eventually, my body shut me down; I was unable to walk or move my legs with intention. I lost the ability to control my hands; I could use them as claws. The paralysis lasted only a couple weeks, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis after several days and tests, and I began the process of coming back from the paralysis. While I could walk, my legs felt like lead weights. I couldn’t stand more than a few minutes because my body would go into cold sweats, I would start shaking, and my legs would give out. I seriously had to slow down and take a look at my life.
Now, I’m pretty stubborn/controlling, whatever you want to call it, and I wasn’t just going to sit by and let this happen. I was going to fix it! So, I began doing different treatment options trying to find something that would work. After several years of this roller coaster, I finally hit acceptance and asked what do I need to do. The first thing was to make myself a priority and make this an unconditional part of my life. That was hard for me as I’d been trained to know I was responsible for the entire world; my needs/desires were unimportant.
I’m still on the journey and, truthfully, I’ve only just begun. I truly accepted and handed myself over to the process August 2013. Interestingly, since I handed my life over completely (most of the time), my energy has improved significantly. I find myself laughing, smiling, and dancing because I’m enjoying my life. I haven’t done that in a very long time. What I notice most is, every time I let myself react, am uncompromising about a specific outcome, pressure myself to meet someone else’s needs over my own, or have any fear-based emotion (any emotion other than joy or love), I lose my energy. It’s like someone turns off the light switch for my energy. As soon as I truly accept the learning in the reaction, I get my energy back; as if someone turned the switch back on. I admit I am motivated to keep my energy so I am becoming very peaceful around reactions. Yes, I have the initial response and upset. My energy begins to leave. I know I have 2 choices:  figure out the reaction, what training contributed to it, forgive myself for allowing that training to run my life, and accept the world is here to always support me. It’s a lot of work and I feel I’ve come a long way in a short amount of time though I took my time getting here (a good 15 years or so).
How the journey presents itself is different for each of us. It is up to us whether the journey is painful or easy. The more we struggle, the more difficult the journey. As soon as we accept and allow, the journey smooths itself. The challenges don’t change. Only our perception of those challenges changes. It is my belief the reason so many people are experiencing auto-immune diseases, chronic syndromes, chronic pain, and chronic fatigue is because the Universe is in a powerful change. We are being called to wake up to our potential and power so we can help create the change which needs to occur. All the illnesses and pain are to force us to slow down and become curious and aware of our Inner Path so we can become the Change Agents the world needs. I hope to help people discover their Inner Voice so they can fulfill their purpose and raise the vibration of the Universe.
I agree things like the food we eat, the air we breathe, the amount of sleep with receive, the amount of movement we receive is all important. Those things are important but we have to take care of ourselves first. We can’t eat right and exercise if we can’t stay awake. So, sleep is most important and next is food. Once those 2 things are in place exercise will begin to find us because we will feel like moving. I admit it can be really challenging to take care of ourselves, especially with the societal voices running in our heads. If we don’t, though, I believe we continue to lose ourselves and, eventually, others lose us.
Has anyone else found relief from pain, illness, life by getting in touch with the force within?

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