I Forgive Myself

Most of us know we have something to give to the world. We may or may not know what that something is but we always know there is a reason for our being here and it isn’t because of an accidental pregnancy.
Like many of the people who know they have something to give, I have never really known what I’m here to do. On the other hand, I know I’m here to teach. I don’t know what I’m supposed to teach exactly; I just know I’m supposed to teach. I suspect I’m supposed to teach about loving ourselves and giving our gifts to the world in such a way as to maintain our self-love while providing a useful gift. Truthfully, that’s a balancing act I’ve not achieved. Though I hear we teach what we most need to learn. I suspect that is part of what this blog is about, me talking about what I most need to learn and, hopefully, others learning from my experiences.
Today, I wrote up a Forgiveness Manifesto for myself and I wish to share it. It is not your normal forgiveness material. Most forgiveness things say I forgive myself for not …. Everything is written from the negative perspective. Since I know we draw into our lives more of what we talk about, I decided to write this manifesto from a positive perspective.
The Forgiveness Manifesto
I forgive myself for wanting people in my life who respect themselves and, therefore, others.
I forgive myself for wanting love, kindness, and gentleness in my life.
I forgive myself for wanting a peaceful and joyful life.
I forgive myself for wanting civilized, caring discussions around disagreements.
I forgive myself for learning as I go and needing time and experience to know what I want.
I forgive myself for knowing what I want and ignoring it.
I forgive myself for wanting time away from all responsibilities.
I forgive myself for wanting time to myself, a lot of time.
I forgive myself for needing time in Nature.
I forgive myself for letting others take responsibilitty for themselves.
I forgive myself for my anger for it shows me where I need stronger boundsaries.
I forgive myself for walking away from people and situations where there is no way for me to make a positive difference.
I forgive myself for knowing some of what I want and knowing there’s no way for me to get it and rely in any finacial way on others.
I fogive myself for being afraid to step into my power even though I’m unsure where my power lies.
I forgive myself for relying on humans and animals to meet my emotional needs.
I forgive myself for turning away from God even when I knew/know that’s where all my answers lie.
I forgive myself for taking on the beliefs and perspectives of others.
I forgive myself for often compromising myself to keep/make others happy.
I forgive myself for thinking I have the power or responsibility to make others happy.
I forgive myself for failing to put forth the effort to do the things I think I might be good at doing.
I forgive myself for listening to other’s limited view of me.
I forgive myself for every way I have failed myself.
I forgive myself.  ~ Therese Sandhage
So often when we do forgiveness things we talk about the ways in which we need to be more understanding. If that gives you value, then by all means, go for it. Being more understanding tends to make me feel badly about myself. I berate myself for having needs and not putting others before myself. If I’m always putting myself last then I have nothing to give to others so there is no way I can care for their needs. That is why I wrote this manifesto the way I did. It empowers me to do what I need to do so I can be available for others.
I don’t want to judge, be critical, disrespect others. But I become those things when I don’t take care of myself. If I constantly listen to someone disrespect those around them and be unwilling to take any responsibility for their actions then I become critical and judging. At that point, I need to learn to cut off communication.
So, the above manifesto is for me. It is to build my foundation so I can be the Truth of who I was born to be; who I am at my core. I’m sure I will fail, more often than not, before I get it right. Eventuallly, I will form new habits around these thoughts. I will turn each of these statements into an “I deserve” statement in the hopes of creating a new belief system for myself. I hope this helps some of you find a way to create your own manifesto to become your complete, awesome wholeness.