Self-Love

This is a baby hummingbird and hummingbird nest. I love looking at this nest and seeing the spider webs and little bits of leaves and hair mixed into it. There are actually two baby hummingbirds in the nest though it looks like only one. The nest is approximately 1 inch across. As the babies grew, the nest had a built in elasticity to it so it stretched easily holding both babies while they grew for about 5 weeks. By the end, the nest was about 4 inches across which shows a lot of ability to grow and change. Mother Nature and all the creatures which inhabit Earth are very adaptable and able to grow and change. It is our limiting beliefs which hold us in place and constrict the life out of us. I have spent several years working on opening my mind to limitless opportunities both within and oustide myself. Late last year, I had a realization that while I like myself there are a lot of ways in which I put myself down, blame myself for things over which I have no control, and make my life miserable. As I questioned why I do this, I realized I had taken on the beliefs and attitudes of people around me. I hadn’t consciously done this and I wasn’t told what to think or believe. That is what is so powerful about the ingraining of what I call the Voices; we put them into ourselves. We do this because though we are born as beings of perfect love, we have no reference point against which to compare who we are with what is happening around us. So, as life shapes us, we forget our perfection and believe what we see and hear around us.
All of this causes a lot of internal conflict which we may or may not realize is happening. Our core, loving perfection wants us to life a fulfilling, joyful, expansive life. The Voices often hold us back by telling us we are not worthy. The feelings of not being worthy vary but they always come down to we need to keep ourselves less than our core greatness. I am on a journey to discover my full fledged greatness!
I have a strong desire to learn to love myself more. What I mean by this is, I want to get rid of the self-criticism, derogatory thinking, and guilt about making mistakes; after all mistakes are the only way to learn. Since I believe we are born perfect and full of love, I also believe all this negativity I direct at myself is from outside myself. I have chosen to ingrain it into my life so I can choose to remove it from my life. Like all habits, it will take time to remove the Voices. I want to return to the perfection we all have when we are born. If I can do this, I believe I can help other people see a way to return to their perfection.
Interestingly, since I’ve decided to remove the Voices, I have found myself feeling more angry and fearful. My thoughts are insane in that they are about fearful things happening that have very little chance of ever happening to me. They are so remote that I actually find myself laughing when I take the time to stop myself and watch what I’m allowing to happen in my head. It’s like going to see a horror movie and thinking it is real life and actually happening to me. How ridiculous is that? So, I have decided my mind must feel so threatened by the fact I wish to be loving towards myself that it is using these scare tactis to derail me. I believe they will give up and go away, I just have to continue to laugh at them. Sometimes, laughing is a challenge because I’d rather not have to deal with the negative thoughts. I believe, once I can remove/diminish the Voices, I will automatically be happier, more loving towards myself and others, and laugh more often.
Why am I doing this? I want to live a life where I see the best in others and feel unconditional love for all people in all situations. I understand that, while I can love people, I can only love them as much as I am able to love myself. If I feel critical towards myself, I will feel critical towards others. That is not unconditional love, it is very conditional. I also know if I can find my way towards unconditional love for myself, I will no longer react to other people in a negative way. The reason I believe this is because I will feel calmer, more secure within myself, and less threatened by the opinions of others. If I feel differently, I will react to others differently. If I feel less judgemental towards myself, I will feel less judgemental towards others. If I love myself then I will love others. I understand people will not always like me or agree with me. However, I will feel less threatened by those things if I am happy within myself because I won’t take it personally. I believe if I don’t take people’s opinions personally then we will be better able to communicate because they will feel my comfort and peace and feel comfort and peace within themselves. I can see where unconditional love for myself will be of benefit to me in all areas of my life.
May you find your inner perfection and love for yourself. I wish you peace and joy and greatness in this New Year. As I know I am a work in progress, if anyone has thoughts they wish to share, I’d love to hear them. I notice I learn from other people as much as they may learn from me. My desire to learn to love myself came from hearing someone else express their thoughts and feeling the truth of their words. Most of my great insights have come to me from hearing other people’s thoughts and experiences. I look forward to hearing yours.